Holly Madison has spoken on a podcast about the first time she slept with Playboy pimp Hugh Hefner.
Madison, now 41, said on the show that she was “mortified” and “embarrassed” when the late Playboy Magazine editor was “pushed on top” of her.
She recalled how much of an emotional impact it had on her after they had sex for the first time, admitting that it was much more traumatic than she had expected.
She stated: “He was literally pushed on top of me. And after it happened, I was just mortified and embarrassed, and it had way more of an emotional impact on me than I thought it would.”
She went back to the infamous Playboy Mansion after being out clubbing with a group of girlfriends.
Initially, she was not expecting to have sex and thought it would be more like a first date. However, things quickly changed, and Madison felt under pressure to stay overnight even though she wanted to go home.
She confessed: “I didn’t really know what went on with them sexually. I figured something, and I was prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared for what would eventually happen. I wasn’t necessarily expecting to have sex that night. I thought it would be more of a first date.”
However, what really left Holly Madison “horrified” afterward was the fact that the other women in the Playboy Mansion soon found out that she and Hefner had slept together.
She described the feeling of knowing that everyone else knew as being outside of her comfort zone and making her feel uncomfortable.
She concluded by: “It wasn’t that the idea of possibly having sex with him repelled me so much. It was more the group aspect that was really out of my comfort zone and just the feeling of like, ‘Wow. That happened. Everybody knows it happened. All of a sudden, it felt like everybody was going to know about me, and I was horrified by it.”
Madison went on to date Hugh Hefner from 2001 until 2008 and said she admired him at the time and thought he was smart.
After the first time having sex with Hefner, Madison moved into the Playboy Mansion in an effort to “demand respect.”
Opening up on the podcast interview, she said that she moved into the Mansion to avoid being “haunted” by the experience.
Holly Madison features in a docuseries being released in January, Secrets of Playboy.
In a trailer for the documentary, The Girls Next Door star describes her relationship with Hefner as “toxic.”
She said she did not know what to do to get out of the situation and became stuck in a “cycle of gross things.”
